uncollected.co.uk

Firstly a few stats: At the time of writing, there are 306 different posts in the General forum and 191 different posts in the Events forum of Uncollected.net...and yet the are only 23 measley posts in the Graff Forum!!
So come on Graff'ers, let's get this Forum up to the standard it deserves.

We as a nation can build this institution into a e-community to be proud of.
They said it couldn't be done, but we the people have the grit and determination to nuture the tiny seed of graff forums into the Grand Oak of Spraycanism.

Our forefathers need us to do this to maintain their honour amongst the pain-ridden battlegrounds.

Victory will be ours!....oh hang on, there's something good in Events(!)...see ya!!

i have to work this evening and am not looking foward to it, as the colleauge i have to work with is a dozy fuckwit. i am forever finding him in the storeroom staring at the wall. he insists that this does involve working, it may not look like he is working, but he says he is, as he is thinking.
i hope you all enjoyed this insight.

My dog barks something rotten!!

-I think it's because I have my foot on his genitals

Is this a problem page?

I'm having problems with my lawnmower...I think the blade needs sharpening!

Sounds like a tough problem...it's a good job you came to the tramp for advice:

have you thought about removing your lawn? It would solve the mower problem altogether...my Turkish friend Ichbar would come and take it off your hands for free (he's very lonely)

try soaking it in a solution; 2 parts vinegar, i part yellow paint, 3 parts kings oak fortified wine.

What a great idea! Thanks Tramp
:
however, don't worry about sending Ichbar over.

I still have the sores from last time!

No problems, Jonny.
It's all in a days work for Uncollected's very own agony aunt:
The Tramp With a Turntable

Now on to other matters:

Can someone go to the shop for me? I can't be bothered.
Here's the list:

Teabags (Value range) Corned Beef (or catfood if they don't have any...tastes just the same) and a cheap bottle of wine (yum yum)

If anyone does this...please contact me.

hah, you have been caught out. you cant be a tramp, tramps only drink lynx, hereford cider and kings oak. not mixed that would be sick

Hey Tramp...haven't I seen you on that fantastic show by the BBC:
Skint??

You know, the bearded fellow with the keyboard with yellow keys (to match his yellow teeth!)

True I usually drink lynx, hereford cider and kings oak, but as you can see: this tramp is requesting someone else to purchase his goods for him so I though it was time for the posh stuff (as someone else is paying)
WINE!!

who gonna watch The Monastry tonghit. people in a churchy place not speaking FOR AN HOUR. im glad my licence fee is being well spent

I have an iron on transfer on a pair of my trousers and am unsure how to wash them for fear of cracking the design, do you have any washing tips?

Yours faithfully,

Annon

I do all my washing in the River Yare...have you tried that?
It works for me. For really tough stains, try rubbing in a little dog's piss (that's a little piss from a dog NOT some piss from a little dog)

I hope that helps you Henri, my dear. Believe me, I frequently know what a pain stains can be.

Who's next for Auntie Tramp?

Thanks Auntie Tramp, my worries are over and yet again I can sleep at night. Though it will have to be the river Thames for me but I think it will have the same desired affect.