uncollected.co.uk

Posted: **Tue May 10, 2005 4:48 pm**

Marrital abuse? anal scabs? can't put up a shelf? incontinence and imcompetance? wife beater? tele-addict? lost some lose change? going to die tomorrow? listen to trance?

Whatever your problem, contact the Agony Tramp on this page.
No problem too big or small.

Help charged at 10p per gripe or moan/ 20p per tear or tantrum.

Posted: **Tue May 10, 2005 5:42 pm**

I recoment him, he sorted out my washing problems in an instant now my white are whiter then white! And may I add...what a bargain, all it cost me was a burger and a bag of chips!

Posted: **Wed May 11, 2005 6:21 pm**

Hahah - the lil trisha is a nice touch.
On Henri's recommendation I would like to know an affective way to unblock my drains please Agony Tramp.

Posted: **Wed May 11, 2005 7:06 pm**

last night the pope contacted me in my sleep. he was highly distressed. he told me that shortly after people had finished visiting his corpse, the priests cracked his skull open with a silver mallet. a butterfly then flew out of it which contained the popes mind and soul, and he believed he was flying towards heaven. however, several weeks have passed now and he still hasnt arrived. he is now making his way through the ozone layer and is shitting his little butterfly pants. he will be contacting me in my sleep again tonight. so tell me tramp, what advice would you give him? he is losing faith fast!

Posted: **Thu May 12, 2005 1:28 pm**

A blocked passage is always a problem for me James, my dear.
I find Barry Scott's Cillit Bang does wonders. The cheeky little fellow even offers some useful tips on this link:
http://www.luckykazoo.com/media/2005/03 ... remix.html
Hope that helps!

Now to a very important matter: Mr Ahkboob is on the lookout for a butterfly containing the late Pope's spirit and soul. Nets at the ready, gang! Let's see if we can catch the Pope in his insectoid form.
I look forward to pinning the little Catholic fella's wings in my collectors book.

Posted: **Sat May 14, 2005 10:00 am**

I never knew Denise Welsh was quite so hot!!
Maybe it's just a good photo...is it her at home?
(love the bathroom)

Posted: **Mon May 16, 2005 4:22 pm**

Yes Jonny, Denise is quite a hotty!
This photo was actually taken behind the set of This Morning (my good friend: Phillip Scofield took the cheeky snap as I was too busy masturbating at the time!)

And to dearest Ahrkboob: look! I got the cheeky little fella!

Posted: **Tue May 17, 2005 3:07 pm**

i've got a problem

my Soundsystem is Broken (still works but rattles on very bassy numbers)

Posted: **Tue May 17, 2005 5:53 pm**

Good work Tramp. Now he will never complete his journey to heaven.

Posted: **Thu May 19, 2005 1:23 pm**

Who cares...i HATE the Pope

even in his dead form

Posted: **Mon Jul 24, 2006 12:11 pm**

Looks like someone has a BIG problem...ha ha ha.

I never liked him either... in fact, I mortally despise the c***!!!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/5208850.stm

Posted: **Tue Aug 29, 2006 3:04 pm**

So, what does everyone think of this Jeremy Kyle fella?

I used to hate him, now I'm starting to think he may be the messiah!!!

Posted: **Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:29 am**

Kyle tells it like it is.

Posted: **Wed Aug 30, 2006 6:14 pm**

I've only seen him when I am ill at home during the day, but I remember liking it when he slays into illogical people.

Posted: **Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:28 pm**

I like to slay illogical people

uncollected.co.uk

The Agony Tramp's Problem Page

The Agony Tramp's Problem Page

Looks like someone has a BIG problem